I normally try to do a little shtick here in the beginning of a post but I wanted to cut right to the chase.
Mr King’s Marvellous Moustache Wax is, unequivocally, the best moustache wax that I’ve used. I have a couple of waxes in my moustache drawer that are permanent residents and Mr King’s is the one I grab the most.
I could easily end the post there and be satisfied that I got the message out but I’m guessing you’ll want to know why I like it so much. So I’ll go through my usual moustache wax review thing.
As Mark Twain never said, “Rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated.” What he really said was “The report of my death was an exaggeration.” Of course he’s dead now so it’s all moot. I, on the other hand, am not dead…I think. Do zombies think? Let’s just agree that I’m ambulatory.
You may be wondering what has kept me from being here to astound and confuse you. Go ahead, wonder. Hmmm..what could it be? When you figure it out let me know what it was. I’ll bet it’s pretty interesting.
Greetings my furry followers! Long time no see. I’ve taken a long hiatus but thanks to the all the fan mail (none) and carefully crafted tales of how my blog has improved your lives (none) I’ve decided to make my triumphant return to entertain (torture) you.
Recently, on the twitters, @edypiro asked me what my top 3 moustache waxes are. Before I do this you need to know that my moustache has gotten pretty long and has always been hard to control. Most of the traditional waxes I’ve used don’t hold it very well any longer but that’s not to say they aren’t great for people with less schnauzer-esque faces.
Today I’ve got a new moustache wax to tell you all about and it’s particularly fun for me because it’s handcrafted by a top-notch gentleman, Douglas Smythe. If you don’t know Mr. Smythe he is the brains behind the excellent blog, howtogrowamoustache.com. A great blog that covers facial hair, wet shaving, interviews, product reviews, fun articles and how-tos. All the stuff you need to know to look your finest. I would recommend bookmarking it. Ok, is it there on your bar now? Good. On with the show.
Douglas decided to branch out into grooming products. He’s presenting to us a trio of products on his etsy page:
‘Tache Wax – an organic moustache wax (which we’ll be looking at here)
Bay Rum Aftershave Butter – an aftershave balm, pre-shave oil, shaving oil and after sun rub (which we’ll be looking at soon)
Last month I had the good fortune to be contacted by Mr Bear of Mr Bear Mustaschvax. He asked if I’d be interested in reviewing his moustache wax and beard oil. Never one to say no to free goodies I took him up on his generous offer. Coming from Sweden, the package took some time to get to me but when it did it contained more than just moustache wax and beard oil, it had the Swedish newspaper comics! I tore into my tin of wax, styled my moustache, grabbed the funnies and headed to the cafe to Google Translate some laughs.
Mr Bear is located in Sweden and is a one man show. He hand makes the moustache wax using all natural ingredients and no “yaky” stuff so it’s petroleum free. The ingredients are very easy to wrap your head around: Beeswax, Lanolin, Shea Butter, Lemon Oil. That’s it. Very cool. The lanolin and shea butter will offer you some conditioning as well.
I always check the referrers to see what brings people to the site to get an idea for what people want to know more about. For example: I frequently see vegan in the search terms. I don’t think I have everything here that’s vegan labelled as such so that’s a project for me. Something I see less frequently is a search for a specific product I didn’t know about. For example: Fisticuffs Mustache Wax.
I found the name interesting because, as we all know, “fisticuffs” are shirt cuffs that are big enough to allow your fist through. Very useful if you have big, giant hands and want to wear tightly tailored shirts…hang on, editor on the line…(Yea, I’m doing the fisticuffs review…of course I did the research…what, really?…Ok, see ya).
In case you’re unfamiliar with ye olde combat sports, fisticuffs is bare knuckle boxing with the late great John L. Sullivan as it’s iconic poster boy. Mr. Sullivan himself sported a fancy handlebar stache. Is Fisticuffs Mustache Wax strong enough for even the great Mr. Sullivan? ding ding! Let’s get ready to …wax! (See how I cleverly avoided being sued by Michael Buffer?)
I don’t particularly like to do reviews that are entirely negative. Almost every product I’ve used has had some usage case that it’s good for, even if that case doesn’t fit into my style. If I can’t make enough use of something to get a good feel for it then I usually just put it aside and move on. Today’s review is a little different though because it’s a product that just doesn’t do what it’s advertised to do and folks who might be interested need to be made aware of this.
Nevermore Body Company Solid Stache Wax Remover is labelled as a moustache wax remover. If you read my reviews you are probably well aware of my love for Wicked Cookie Duster, a liquid moustache wax remover that has proven it’s worth to me time and time again. Unfortunately it has remained without a challenger…until now! I quickly purchased a tube of Solid Stache Wax Remover. Would this young upstart be able to knock Wicked Cookie Duster off of its throne?
Moustache Waxes are not a mainstream consumable and so it’s practically impossible to get anything but Clubman Moustache Wax on store shelves. This is why etsy.com has become an effective money sink. There are a lot of talented people out there tweaking the classic moustache wax recipe based on their personal needs and sharing it with anyone with a few bucks. It’s a “buyer beware” environment but moustache wax is cheap and, at least for me, it’s fun to take the chance. Hell, I’ll spend 5 bucks on mediocre corporate coffee; why not spend that money on something that might be magnificent?
Purple and yellow stripes are an indicator of quality
I’ve picked up a few moustache waxes from etsy but the one that got me started there is Dubs Stache Cream. I’ll tell you why: Purple and yellow stripes. Yea, I bought it because of the purple and yellow background on the label. Maybe not the most most effective basis for decision making but it seemed to work because Dubs Stache Cream is an interesting and very effective moustache wax.
Not long ago I went to the mailbox to discover a singularly unremarkable brown mailer addressed to yours truly. On the back was a large wax seal with the initials C.F. elegantly emblazoned upon it. My curiosity was piqued and I attacked the envelope with a wanton disregard for personal safety. A floor full of shredded envelope, a few paper cuts and one hang nail later I held aloft my prize. I small tin of wax with the Captain Fawcett logo upon it! Hurray for me!
When you need that firmer hold required for the tropics
This was a sample of Captain Fawcett’s Moustache Wax in a firm variety. I really like the original formula of Captain’s Fawcett and my waxes are all on the medium side of the medium to firm scale. Yes, sometimes my death defyingly dense moustache will droop after a busy day but that’s fine with me. I was excited to dry a firm wax from a name I trust to see if there was anything to a stronger holding wax.