Make sure you look for the ‘Beard Shampoo’. Just washing your beard with Abraham won’t end well.
I will now open your hearts and mind with a poem.
leaky coffee lid
winter’s breath chills my cheeks
my beard needs a bath
If this poem has moved you then you understand one of the myriad of challenges faced by the blessed beard bearers. Oh, the sticky beard, what do? If I comb you, I pull out hairs but if I do nothing you are stinky. Alas, the clogged pores! What are we to do?
You’re just in time to witness my foray into micro posts. By “micro” I mean less than the 400 words I usually drone on with and by “posts” I mean this stuff with which I continue clogging the interweb pipes…like a giant glazed digital donut.
Runny Nose is in the lead, followed closely by Stormy Weather and Emperor’s Clothes
Unfortunately I will not be able to attend the amazing and magnificent “Orange County’s 1st Annual Moustache & Beard Competition“. Now I know my previous post on this competition built up a level of excitement normally reserved for Christmas and then hearing that I would be there built up a level of excitement normally reserved for dental surgery. Well then you’ll either be pleased or disappointed that I have hit the trifecta of perfect timing. I am sick, the weather is to crappy to drive in and I don’t have any attire to go with my face.
So those of you who will be in attendance please take plenty of pictures and, if you feel like it, you could share them with me and I could post them. I promise not to add any too many silly captions.
…also if you have any ideas for attire I would love to hear them.
I get tons of questions in the piles and piles of mail I get and trust me, those piles of mail: totally giant. Imagine the amount of mail Santa Claus gets around the holidays and that’s one day for me…yup…pretending is fun. One of the most frequently asked question is, “Why do you bother doing this?” followed closely by, “No, really, why?” but somewhere on that list I imagine there’s someone asking what I recommend you use to clean your scruffy mug. So I’m going to tell you.
Greetings loyal readers! Summer is definitely in full gear and, if you’re anything like me, your moustache is drooping and your hair goop is dripping into your eyes. With that in mind it’s time we take a look at something less melty. It’s time to look at “Captain Fawcett’s ‘Private Stock’ Beard Oil”. Holy cow! If this from the Captain’s private stock this should be some good stuff.
Captain Fawcett is a mysterious fellow. In terms of background the best I can do is point you to his webpage and his charmingly eccentric twitter feed. What I can tell you is that the Captain has given us an excellent moustache wax in 3 varieties. We’ve already looked at those and they got high marks so the expectations on his beard oil are pretty high.
Having grown up in a pretty mellow part of New York I like to pretend that I grew up in Brooklyn. I affect a bad accent and swagger around like a tough guy. This usually ends with me curled into the fetal position crying, “not in the moustache, not in the moustache!”…ahhh good times.
I’m not sure how I found out about Brooklyn Grooming but here’s my story, an angel with flowing locks, a fantastic beard and dapper ‘tache came to me in a dream and told me to browse to http://www.brooklyngrooming.com, which I did. Good story, huh?
Apothecaries are cool
Brooklyn Grooming is Mckenzie Santiago and Alfredo Ortiz. McKenzie has a good deal of experience in grooming products. You may recall her from a line she created called, “Pretty Monsters”. I don’t think you’ll be able to find them on the web anymore which is a real shame because I enjoyed their “Bukowski” lip balm and not just because I like the beat stylings of Mr. Bukowski. They’re located in, you guessed it, Brooklyn NY and all of their products are handmade with organic ingredients. It’s a high quality line of products.