Grooming and Gaming gets cheap

Face Front, True Believers!

As Mark Twain never said, “Rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated.”  What he really said was “The report of my death was an exaggeration.”  Of course he’s dead now so it’s all moot.  I, on the other hand, am not dead…I think.  Do zombies think?  Let’s just agree that I’m ambulatory.

You may be wondering what has kept me from being here to astound and confuse you.  Go ahead, wonder.  Hmmm..what could it be?  When you figure it out let me know what it was.  I’ll bet it’s pretty interesting.

So let’s talk facial hair for a moment.  Pretty coarse stuff, huh?

Bah! Humbug!

Bah! Humbug!

Now let’s talk moustache wax.  Have you folks seen the prices on some of these things?  It’s getting absurd.  Let’s face it, at its core, moustache wax is beeswax and a carrier, shea butter or petroleum jelly seem the most common.  Sprinkle some foo foo (essential oils, conditioners) in to taste and Bob’s your uncle.  I’ve imported some freaky deaky stuff, some sort of toxic sludge in a tube (*cough* stern *cough*), and paid slightly more than normal but that’s the nature of imports.  However when I see a moustache wax that lists for 13 euros for HALF an ounce, that’s 17.50 for us Yanks, and the ingredients are “beeswax, castor oil, jojoba oil and a blend of essential oils”, I don’t understand what the hell is going on…and that was without shipping.  It ends up being slightly over 20 bucks total to bring to the US.  Just look around, you’ll find them.

I haven’t approached the topic of price before because my feeling was, “money means different things to different people”.  That changed.  Now my feeling is, “money means a lot to me and I’m taking it into consideration”

Right off the top of my head I’ll name four moustache waxes that I think do AT LEAST a good enough job, if not an excellent job of keeping my stache in place.  Keep in mind that my stache extends about 5 inches on each side which I curl solely with waxes (no gels, pomades or sprays).

Petal Pushers Fancy Dandy Candy (also on etsy) – 6.95 for .5 oz – Petroleum Free about 8.70 US shipped

The Devil’s Choice – 10.00 for 1 oz – Petroleum Free (but has pine sap!) about 14 US shipped

Mr. Bear Moustache Wax (also on etsy)- 11.00 for 1 oz – Petroleum Free (discount for more than 1) – about 15 US shipped.

Dubs Stache Cream (also on etsy) – 12.00 for 1.3 oz – Petroleum Free – about 14 US shipped.

I’m not trying to hawk someone’s wares like some screaming, polyester suited, used car dealer commercial you see on late night television when you should be sleeping but couldn’t for some reason so decided to go sit on the couch with a cup of tea but are now thinking it was probably a bad idea because there’s some screaming, polyester suited, used car dealer on the TV

… (deep breath)…

I’m trying to make sure that those of you out there who might be new to grooming their soup strainers aren’t put off by people trying to make a quick buck off a classic style that has seen a resurgence in popularity.  Expensive != Better.

Am I wrong?  Let me know.  I’m not shelling out the kind of prices this new round of boutique moustache waxes are asking.  If you’ve tried, or actually make them, and have also tried the more affordable products let’s hear it.


7 comments on “Grooming and Gaming gets cheap

  1. hirsuteforhappiness says:

    Very strong point you make there Dave! I tend to get a lot for free know due to the persuasive powers of my hypnotic moustache but the prices of some are ridiculous. Its interesting that the ones you mention are some of my favorite too.

    Can you please not leave it so long next time, I love your writing

    • Yes, the stache has mysterious and terrible properties. One struggles to retain control of such might.
      I’m always on the lookout for something new but, ya know, 20 bucks is like 4 or 5 coffee runs and caffeine is at least half of what my moustache look…the way it does.

      Thanks for the kind words, Stu. It’s good to be writing (again). I’d love to write more frequently but the muse can sometimes be elusive.

  2. Dan Riegler says:

    Good point Dave. I bet the high priced wax won’t be around in a year. Or at least not at the same price.There’s only so long you can ask twice the price for something that’s not at least twice the quality. Especially with reviews like yours keeping people informed. Good to see you back, up and about, I know what you mean about those elusive muses, such is life indeed. Welcome back.

  3. Jannon says:

    Hello Dave another really great one is Firehouse Moustache wax it is 9$ for a 1oz tin and has great hold it last a day at the beach of beer drinking swimming and stupid dumb humidity of southwestern Ontario I recommend the wacky tacky if you haven’t tried it yet

    • Hi Jannon. Thank you very much for the comments and following. It’s greatly appreciated. I haven’t tried any of the products from Firehouse yet. I seem to recall them being out of the wacky tacky when I last went there. Does that make any sense? Maybe I dreamed that part. Anyway it just slipped my mind since then. The next my budget allows for some new purchases it’ll be on the list.

      We’ve gotten some humidity recently but nothing like we used to get back in N.Y. The big challenge here is the 80+ degrees during the summer. I have a couple of industrial strength products to try so stay tuned this summer for some melty reviews.

      Edit: I went to the firehouse site and noticed that the wacky tacky is a very dark wax. That’s why I haven’t picked it up. I have a pretty grey stache. I’m concerned that it’ll color it.

      • Jannon says:

        Yes the wacky tacky is a very dark wax I could see it colouring a bit with a gray stach it is how ever the only brand I have used but in the process of starting to make my own I’ll have to send you a sample once I have it to where I’m happy with it do you have any tips you could give

      • I haven’t done any of my own wax. I know Dan at the wonderful Apothecaries Garden blog has made his own and I think Stu at Hirsute for Happiness has made wax. Is that right, Stu? I think a lot of the manufactures you’ve read about here would be happy to give you tips if you contact them. Some truly fantastic people out there.

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