Captain Fawcett’s Moustache Wax

I think it’s about time I introduced you to the Captain. “The Captain?”, you ask. Can it be that they don’t know of Captain Peabody Fawcett and, more importantly, the Captain’s moustache wax? I shan’t stand for it. I have enclosed, through the magic of digital media, a link to “The story behind Captain Fawcett’s Moustache Wax”.

The Captain and his ennobled upper lip

The Captain and his ennobled upper lip

The Captain’s disappearance(?) was tragic but at least we have his moustache wax recipe. Captain Fawcett’s Moustache Wax is handmade in the UK. I must admit that my curiosity has been piqued by the delivery of the product. Everything had a Victorian flare and I could swear I saw the Captain’s signature somewhere…could it be? No…maybe?

When I received my package of Captain Fawcett’s Moustache Wax I was delighted to find 3 15ml/.5oz glass jars each containing a different scent of wax. The labels were different colors to denote the scent. Lavender contained well…lavender, yellow was sandalwood and green was ylang ylang. The jars were clear with a black lid. Atop the lid was the profile of the esteemed Captain.

I saw this on Google.  They might be smell gremlins.

I saw this on Google. They might be smell gremlins.

A few quick twists later and I had them all open on the counter and was giving them the “sniff test”. The “sniff test” is a test, invented by yours truly, in which I “sniff” the moustache wax (or whatever is before me) and then make a mental note about the scent. Those stodgy bastards at the university called me crazy! They told me that my “sniff test” crossed too many ethical boundaries and they banished me from the grounds. “Moustaches all over the world will benefit from this”, I exclaimed but, alas, it landed on deaf ears. Heed my words, dear reader, if you wish to attempt the “sniff test” exercise caution. Please do not contact me if your nose drops off or your smell-gremlins (the guys that carry the scent to your brain) go on strike. I am no longer licensed to wrangle smell-gremlins and cannot assist in their recovery.

Where were we? Oh yes, the Captain’s wax. The lavender and sandalwood varieties were a little tough to tell apart. The scents are subtle and succumb to the strength of the beeswax. The ylang ylang, however, was strong. I avoid ylang ylang because it makes me nauseous and gives me a headache all day but what kind of objective reviewer would I be if I didn’t make sacrifices for my loyal fans? I’ve worn all 3. The smell of the lavender was the gentlest. I find it to be for all purposes, unscented. I would like to see it a little stronger. The sandalwood is probably perfect. As you work it you definitely get the earthy scent of the sandalwood. It smells pleasant as you’re applying but it doesn’t intrude on your day. If you concentrate and give a sniff you’ll get the sandalwood but other than that it minds it’s own business. The ylang ylang, as expected, made me sick and gave me a headache. It was noticeable all day. This will be good news for those who like ylang ylang and you should contact me for a slightly used jar of wax.

All 3 were firm waxes with no differences, at least that I noticed, between them. The wax is hard and the jar can offer a challenge in getting the leverage you might normally use to scrape out some wax. You could warm it up with a blow dryer but I’ve taken to using the end of a moustache comb (a Kent 81T in this case) to extract all my waxes and it worked fine here, allowing me to use a twisting motion to scrape out an ample amount. Once you have it between your fingers you’ll notice the wax is not nearly as hard to kneed. I wouldn’t say it softened but it was nicely malleable. Giving it a squish I was very pleased with how smooth is smooshed while staying dry. It’s at this point that a lot of waxes show some tiny chunks or clumping. The Captain’s wax would have none of that.

My perfectly groomed moustache

My perfectly groomed moustache

Applying it to this wiry topiary I call a moustache was very easy. My normal application is to use a little from under the nose to the end of the lip to help the hair flow and to try and keep them out of my mouth. I then wax and shape each end separately. The wax was just as smooth in application as it was kneading. I got zero dots and crumbles while applying it and places where I had some uneven distribution were usually fixable by just working it with my fingers a little more. I’ve only had to come it through a few times and I’ve never needed to blow dry it to soften it up for application. Doing the tips of my ‘stache was wonderful. I mean really, wonderful is a little strong but I still do a little dance each time I do the ends and get such nice results. You won’t see this dance on youtube so don’t bother waiting for a link. I get a little ball kneaded between the thumb and forefinger smoosh it a little, then I grab in at the end of my lip, making sure to get all the hairs and slowly pull outwards while rolling, not twisting, the hairs. The hairs all come together nicely without any flaking or clump bits and the ends stay together also. I then twist, if necessary to get the appropriate shape.

The magic here was that the wax wasn’t obvious and the ends didn’t fray for most of the day and when they did it was easy enough to just do a little touch up. If you actually do real work for a living you might need to apply more through the day but I didn’t. I kept a jar in my trouser pocket and sure enough it softens up nicely with warmth but I never felt I needed to get it warmed up. I ended up just taking it out and leaving it on my desk. Let me say it again though, the wax is hard in the jar and you might struggle to get a bit but it works through easily.

I saw someone hit my site with a search of “mustache wax shine” so I guess someone cares about this. This moustache wax is matte. In fact I think every moustache wax I’ve used is matte. Can someone suggest to me a moustache wax with high shine that also has hold? I’d be interested in seeing the results.

The remnants of the Captain's pack

The remnants of the Captain’s pack

The Captain’s wax is fantastic. The ingredients are as simple as most others, beeswax, petroleum jelly and essential oil but somehow the whole is greater than the sum of it’s parts. The lavender is my preferred scent but I’d like to see it just a touch more lavendery. The sandalwood is good for those wild days (tee hee, noone knows I’m wearing my Mickey Mouse boxers) and ylang ylang is still waiting for someone to contact me.

You can get Captain Fawcett’s Moustache Wax directly from the source at their webpage (press the “buy” stamp) or from thestache.com (who are using the logo of the Captain without any mention of the product.)

Disclosure: I am not associated with Captain Fawcett, expeditions to deepest Africa or any of the products or web pages mentioned in this article. The .5 oz. jars of Captain Fawcett’s Moustache Wax I used to write this article arrived in the post shortly after discovering that Captain.

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One comment on “Captain Fawcett’s Moustache Wax

  1. […] was a sample of Captain Fawcett’s Moustache Wax in a firm variety.  I really like the original formula of Captain’s Fawcett and my waxes are all on the medium side of the medium to firm scale. […]

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